As I sat in the unfamiliar church service with strangers on every side, I felt the tears begin to roll down my cheeks. “I miss my church back in Conway,” I told the Lord. “I miss my friends. I miss my kids. Why did we have to move out of state? Starting over in a new community feels overwhelming to me. I’m not sure I can do this.”
“Will you trust me?” the Lord said to me. “Will you trust my ways, even if you don’t like them?”
I’ve considered that conversation with the Lord almost every day the past few weeks. I wish I could say that my heart and attitude about our move has been transformed since hearing the Lord speak to me. I wish I could say that I’ve quit questioning why and simply accept our circumstances. But as hard as I’ve tried, I’m still struggling with contentment surrounding our move many days.
I recognize my anxious feelings and questioning ways from previous stepfamily challenges. I recall questioning the Lord on more than one occasion as I sought to understand what was happening in our family.
“Will you trust me?” the Lord said, when my stepdaughter went to live with her mom over 300 miles away. “Will you trust my ways?” the Lord said, when my stepson was allowed to stay with his stepdad after his mom died instead of immediately moving to our house. “Will you trust me to provide?” the Lord said, when I lost my job shortly after my husband and I married.
And in every challenge we’ve faced, I’ve seen the Lord’s faithfulness. I’ve felt His presence most on days I was forced to lean on Him for answers and comfort.
So I’ve learned to trust Him. I trust His ways. I trust His plan. I trust His direction in my life. Even when I don’t like the direction He sends me. Even when I don’t understand the outcome. And especially, when I don’t see the big picture. I trust Him. Do you?
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”