Today’s post is an excerpt from our e-book, Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace.
“My stepson and stepdaughter lost their mother after a short battle with cancer several years after my husband and I married. Because of their loss, the holidays have never been the same for them. She died in August and naturally the first Christmas season was very difficult. But I didn’t anticipate how difficult every holiday after that would be also.
I’ll never forget the second season after their mother’s death. My adolescent children were having a wonderful time decorating the tree, singing Christmas carols, and reminiscing of Christmas’ past. Without warning, my stepson uttered a few angry words and retreated to his room. His mood dampened the atmosphere for the girls – momentarily for all of us! Naturally, he was struggling with grief.
Difficult emotions present themselves with every holiday season. And in blended families, complicated circumstances compound them. But we can make a choice to refuse to let them consume us.
It’s vital that we allow ourselves to “feel” our feelings. That means we don’t stuff them, we don’t deny them, we don’t avoid them through busyness, and we don’t compensate for them by overeating, drinking, or using any sort of sedative. Feelings eventually pass if we give ourselves permission to “feel” them.
Seek out support during stressful periods. Talk with a friend, a pastor, or another stepparent as you process your feelings. Relay your concerns to your spouse and ask for his/her support on hard days. You don’t have to walk the stepparenting journey alone – a comforting friend or a godly prayer partner may offer the support you need to get through a difficult day.”
Read more on coping with difficult emotions when you purchase our e-book here.
Are you struggling with difficult emotions right now? How do you cope with them? Will you share with us in the comments?