I have a good friend who is raising her step-granddaughter because her stepdaughter has proven too unstable for the responsibility. I have another friend who could be assuming full custody with her husband of her three stepchildren because their biological mom continues to struggle on the road of addiction.
Difficult happenings on the stepparenting journey that cannot be predicted. They’re all around us. As a stepparent, will you muster the effort and energy to go the extra mile when your family road takes a turn of events?
I believe we are called to do what we can to keep our family intact if we sign up for the role by saying, “I do.” (Aside from abuse, of course). We unite with our spouse as a team and commit to minister to our stepchildren through the ups and downs of stepparenting. It doesn’t mean the road will be easy, but God will give us the strength and power to sustain us on the road He allows us to walk.
In their book, The Smart Stepmom, Laura Petherbridge and Ron Deal acknowledge some of the complex issues that can show up unexpectedly on the stepparenting journey and how a smart stepmom deals with them. Here are a few thoughts to ponder:
“A Smart Stepmom:
– discovers the things she can control and releases the things she can’t.
– is prepared. She isn’t naive or ambused by complex stepfamily issues and is flexible to cope with matters that she didn’t see coming.
– is constantly growing and learning about wise stepparenting and parenting techniques.
– has a strong support system with other women who share her values.
– recognizes that there are limits to her contributions to decision-making regarding her stepchildren’s lives
– accepts that sometimes being a stepmother is going to be unfair and lonely.
– acknowledges that she may not see the fruit of her sacrifices until the children become adults.
– believes that her value is determined by the price Jesus paid for her and that she is precious in God’s eyes. This awareness offers her enduring peace even in challenging circumstances.”
Has your stepparening journey taken an unexpected turn? How are you coping?